"Gay Blades" - A Reggie and Me Tale

Have you noticed that Reggie kind of gets the shaft a lot when it comes to Archie titles?  Archie obviously has the market cornered for the majority of titles both past and present, and Betty, Veronica, and Jughead have had several titles as well.  But Reggie's had a tougher time with it.

The only title that was any sort of success for Reggie was the "Reggie and Me" title, which was a continuation of the "Archie's Rival Reggie" title.  And that title printed its final issue in 1980.  That was thirty-nine years ago.  And, yes...the new Archie artwork printed a reboot of the "Reggie and Me" title a few years ago.  And, yeah, there was a brief title called "Reggie's Revenge" that ran for three issues.  But aside from that, Reggie's been kind of ignored.  He hasn't even had his own digest title at all.  Maybe that's why he has such an ego.  He's overcompensating for the fact that he has been ignored!

Well, that's my opinion, anyway.  Take it or leave it.

So, for today's look back, I thought I'd choose a story that originally appeared forty-seven years ago in 1972.  From "Reggie and Me #54" we have the story "Gay Blades"!

Oh, yeah.  I guess it goes without saying that in this case, the word gay means happy.  And really, the only one who is happy in this story is Reggie, as he's happy that he's a better skater than Archie.  Seriously, Archie is trying so hard to stay on the ice and he's failing miserably.  Not even Jughead in his...what looks like a fur coat...can keep him on his feet.  Of course, this shouldn't come as a shock to most of us.  We already know that Reggie and Archie have a frenemy relationship and that Reggie has to be the best at everything!

At the moment, Reggie has grabbed Veronica and is skating happily with her, while Archie is grabbing hold of both Jughead and Betty trying desperately not to slip and do a faceplant onto the ice.  Trust me, doing a faceplant on an icy surface is NOT recommended.  I did that once when I was in the first grade and nearly broke my nose as a result.  I'm amazed I didn't knock any teeth out!

Now, Reggie can't help but keep taunting Archie about it, and Betty is trying to give Archie a pep talk...but of course, Archie calls Betty a "pal", completely letting Betty's affection go right over his head.  But given that Archie's trying not to kill himself on the frozen pond, I'll cut him a little bit of slack here.  Not much.  But a little.

Of course, Reggie is not about to quit bragging about how good of a skater he is, and he actually grabs some barrels and lines them up.  It's the old-fashioned barrel jump (which is ironically the activity that is featured on the cover of "Archie #1"), and Reggie is telling Archie that he can jump over every barrel.  But Archie is not impressed.

But do you want to know who else isn't too impressed with Reggie?  Today's special guest star, Sabrina Spellman!  You see, long before Sabrina got her own title in the early 1970s, Sabrina was friends with the whole Archie crew, and many of her appearances were in "Laugh Comics", "PEP Comics", and "Archie's TV Laugh-Out".  Therefore, Sabrina knows exactly what Reggie is like, and she decides that Reggie needs to be taught a bit of a magical lesson.  She casts an invisible force field to appear across the barrel jump so that anyone who tries to jump over them will crash into a solid wall.  Surely that won't stop Reggie, will it?

Okay, maybe it did stop him.  Why, Reggie smacked into that shield so hard that his hat flew right off his head!  That's impressive!  I suppose it goes without saying that the sight of Reggie smacking into the barrels cause Archie and Jughead to laugh at Reggie, and Reggie is not handling it very well at all.  He decides to shut them up by doing some fancy figure skating.  That way he can skate circles around them and attract the attention of the girls at the same time.

Needless to say, Sabrina's attention is focused on Reggie, and it's not because she's in awe of him.  It's because she is performing another magical spell on him.  But how could she possibly use magic to stop Reggie in his skates?  She's already done the magic wall trick.

Ah, yes, the whole split Reggie's pants down the seam trick.  Here's hoping that Reggie remembered to wear underpants!  But hey, at least Archie and his friends are kind of enjoying the fact that Reggie's embarrassment is their entertainment.

It's time for Reggie to skate off the ice and change out of his torn clothes.  However, he finds himself completely frozen to the ice.  He cannot move at all.  Turns out that Sabrina has one more trick up her sleeve to get Reggie to behave.  And let's put it this way...if Della the Head Witch was watching this scene, Sabrina would likely get a certificate of achievement from her for being so witchy.  Because with one final zap, Reggie Mantle does his best Tasmanian Devil impersonation!

You know...I can't help but think that all that spinning can't be good for the surface of the ice.

Well, I suppose giving Reggie pneumonia is a good way to teach Reggie that bragging can sometimes be annoying.  But hey, who are we kidding?  Reggie will always be this way no matter what you say or do.  Granted, Reggie does have a heart, and he does show it...but I think we all agree that it's much more entertaining to see the braggart put his foot in his mouth.

Or, in this case, put the skates under the water!