One award that I know a lot of people received in school were those so-called citizenship awards. Given to students who exemplified impeccable behaviour both in and out of school. And yeah, I never got one of those. I was more interested in the academic awards anyway.
Well, Riverdale High seemingly has its own version of a citizenship award, and that will be the source of today's story. And we're going back over six decades for this story!
This story from 1958 was originally printed in "Archie #93". And, for it being an Archie story, it actually features a lot of supporting characters. Let's see, there's Moose, Reggie, Jughead, Mr. Weatherbee, Miss Grundy, Professor Flutesnoot...yeah, lots of characters.
This story is called "Award to the Wise" - and I do apologize for the quality of these scans. I got them from a 45-year-old digest which has much more muted colours than the average digest now.
So, just an explanation on this citizenship award, it's actually an award that is given to the student that earns the most brownie points with Riverdale High's staff. I get the feeling that Mr. Weatherbee only launched this award to score some free child labour for the school, but the students don't seem to clue into this. All they want is the award for bragging rights. And it appears as though most of the boys in the junior class at Riverdale High are going for the prize. Well, all except Jughead who has zero interest in taking part in the contest. Remember this for later.
It looks like Archie, Reggie, and Moose will divide and conquer in their quest to win that award. And Moose surprisingly shows a lot of logic in his plan to assist Mr. Weatherbee. After all, Moose reasons, starting at the top is the best way to get noticed. Again, not flawed logic by any means.
It looks like Moose is the perfect person to help Mr. Weatherbee in the long run. Mr. Weatherbee has a filing cabinet in his office that he would like to have moved from one side of the room to the other. But it is too heavy for Mr. Weatherbee to move. So, Moose attempts to help him out. But even with Moose's help, the cabinet is still too heavy. Mr. Weatherbee manages to prop the cabinet up on an angle and tells Moose to grab a dolly so that they can slip it underneath the cabinet. And, well...Moose delivers.
The problem is that instead of a metal dolly, he grabs a doll that a 7-year-old would play with.
Okay, I have a feeling that Mr. Weatherbee will probably need to go to the hospital right away...and that Moose probably won't win. Let's go check in on how some of the others are doing.
Ah, it's Archie. And he's helping Miss Grundy out by taking a whole stack of textbooks that were sitting on her desk and arranging them in a nearby closet. Archie figures that he has saved her a lot of work and is proud to have helped out. When he leaves the room, he spots Miss Grundy in the hallway and tells her to look in the closet, as he has a huge surprise waiting for her. Curiously, Miss Grundy heads inside of her classroom and opens the closet door...
Notice how fast Archie takes off from the scene? Yeah, I don't think he'll win either. And I'm thinking that Miss Grundy will probably never open a closet door ever again. But in all seriousness, what was Archie thinking stacking the books that way?
Sigh. Maybe Reggie's having better luck. Let's check in with him as he butters up Professor Flutesnoot. It turns out that Flutesnoot has some supplies that Reggie can help take downstairs, and Reggie is so eager to help that he temporarily loses his ability to notice things around him.
If Reggie had been paying attention, he would have noticed the pot of glue that he accidentally spills on Flutesnoot's chair...while he's sitting in it. As a result, Professor Flutesnoot gets stuck to the chair, and in the process of trying to get out of the chair, he suffers a fall down a flight of stairs. Miraculously, Professor Flutesnoot survives the fall, but he's badly injured. This is the final straw for the faculty and they insist that Mr. Weatherbee cancel the contest before any more of them get injured by good intentions. Mr. Weatherbee can't do that though because he still has to present the award. But who will inevitably get it?
Why, the person who helped out the faculty the most.
Now I know why this story is called "Award to the Wise". Jughead probably knew that the boys would try too hard to please the faculty and that their good intentions would end up costing them a lot - Jughead knew that by not doing anything to help, he was actually being the most helpful.
Pretty shrewd, if I have to say so myself.
The problem is that instead of a metal dolly, he grabs a doll that a 7-year-old would play with.
Okay, I have a feeling that Mr. Weatherbee will probably need to go to the hospital right away...and that Moose probably won't win. Let's go check in on how some of the others are doing.
Ah, it's Archie. And he's helping Miss Grundy out by taking a whole stack of textbooks that were sitting on her desk and arranging them in a nearby closet. Archie figures that he has saved her a lot of work and is proud to have helped out. When he leaves the room, he spots Miss Grundy in the hallway and tells her to look in the closet, as he has a huge surprise waiting for her. Curiously, Miss Grundy heads inside of her classroom and opens the closet door...
Notice how fast Archie takes off from the scene? Yeah, I don't think he'll win either. And I'm thinking that Miss Grundy will probably never open a closet door ever again. But in all seriousness, what was Archie thinking stacking the books that way?
Sigh. Maybe Reggie's having better luck. Let's check in with him as he butters up Professor Flutesnoot. It turns out that Flutesnoot has some supplies that Reggie can help take downstairs, and Reggie is so eager to help that he temporarily loses his ability to notice things around him.
If Reggie had been paying attention, he would have noticed the pot of glue that he accidentally spills on Flutesnoot's chair...while he's sitting in it. As a result, Professor Flutesnoot gets stuck to the chair, and in the process of trying to get out of the chair, he suffers a fall down a flight of stairs. Miraculously, Professor Flutesnoot survives the fall, but he's badly injured. This is the final straw for the faculty and they insist that Mr. Weatherbee cancel the contest before any more of them get injured by good intentions. Mr. Weatherbee can't do that though because he still has to present the award. But who will inevitably get it?
Why, the person who helped out the faculty the most.
Now I know why this story is called "Award to the Wise". Jughead probably knew that the boys would try too hard to please the faculty and that their good intentions would end up costing them a lot - Jughead knew that by not doing anything to help, he was actually being the most helpful.
Pretty shrewd, if I have to say so myself.
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