"Hula Havoc" - An Archie "Christmas" Tale

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  I put "Christmas" in quotation marks.  Truth be told, although I found this story in a Christmas themed digest, this story is more of a Winter story.  But the truth is that I find this story to be so typical of an Archie story that I just have to write about it for Day #16 of the PEP CULTURE ADVENT CALENDAR.

It's a story for those who live in cold climates that always wanted to celebrate Christmas in a tropical setting.  Personally, I'm all for a white Christmas and cool weather, but I imagine many more love a little bit of heat during their holidays.  I can still remember three years ago when the temperature on Christmas Eve was a balmy 17 degrees Celsius.  And I live in Canada!  Definite green Christmas that year.

In today's story, entitled "Hula Havoc", Mr. Lodge wants to throw a luau for all of Veronica's friends.  But it ends up being a volcanic eruption of goofs and errors, courtesy of Archie!

I chose this story because I wanted to have some more representation of the 1960s in this advent calendar.  It originally appeared in "Laugh Comics #120" - which weirdly enough has a cover that would seem more suitable for Halloween than Christmas.  The reprinted version that I have was reprinted in "Archie Digest #28" - which is almost entirely Christmas themed.  So, yeah...it's kind of a weird story, but a fun one.

The premise is simple.  Mr. Lodge has fallen in love with the Hawaiian islands and its culture.  And fun fact - at the time the story was written, Hawaii had only become the 50th state two years earlier!  Since Mr. Lodge loves Hawaii so much, Veronica has decided to throw him a special Hawaiian luau.  The problem is that it's winter, and you can't very well hula dance in the snow.  Veronica has it covered though.  She will have the party indoors at Lodge Mansion.  All Archie and Jughead have to do is show up at eight.  She'll even have their costumes ready for them. 

I must say...the job that Veronica did on the luau seems very spot on - right down to the roast pig baking in the...pool of cooking oil?  I don't even know what it's supposed to be.  Whatever the case, for now everyone is very merry and happy. 

Key words.  For now.

The party is off to a great start.  Betty and Veronica are looking beautiful in their grass skirts, Jughead insults Reggie by comparing him to the roast pig.  And Archie is so happy that he's finally a welcome guest in the Lodge mansion that he picks up a pineapple filled with cocktail, lifts it up, and wants to toast Mr. Lodge for a fantastic party. 

Of course, one thing we know about Archie is that whatever good intentions he has, they are often spoiled by the fact that he is a total klutz.  And just as Archie picks up the pineapple glass, it slips out of his hands...

And right onto Mr. Lodge's naked foot.  I bet he kind of wishes he was wearing some form of slipper, doesn't he?  And for the record, I've actually dropped a pineapple on my foot before, and it smarts.  Of course, I was wearing shoes at the time so I didn't damage anything.  In Mr. Lodge's case, he has to wear a bandage on his foot.  Not a great start to the party.

Attempting to get the party back on track, Mr. Lodge takes a seat and grabs a ukulele.  It is a musical instrument typically used for playing the music that accompanies the traditional hula dance.  As Betty takes a turn doing the hula, Archie's keen sense of hearing notices that something is wrong with Mr. Lodge's ukulele.  A frustrated Mr. Lodge watches as Archie grabs the instrument.  Archie says that the problem is a loose G string (to clarify, I do mean the guitar G string, not the G string that strippers wear) and Archie claims that he can fix it.  He certainly fixes it, all right.

The string snaps back right into Mr. Lodge's left eye, and thanks to Archie's good intentions, Mr. Lodge now has to spend the rest of the party looking like a Hawaiian pirate.  What else could possibly go wrong?

Well, Archie decides that he should make amends by offering to snap Mr. Lodge's photo.  Jughead seems to agree, thinking that Mr. Lodge is such a ham that he'd be game for it.  Sure enough, Mr. Lodge agrees and stands in front of the fire pit.  Of course, Archie being a perfectionist when it comes to photo taking makes Mr. Lodge move closer to the pit.  Unfortunately, Archie doesn't realize that when one gets too close to the fire wearing an authentic Hawaiian outfit that drapes down to the floor, it has a tendency to spontaneously ignite.  And sure enough, Archie has managed to set Mr. Lodge on fire while he's taking the picture!

A quick thinking Jughead comes to the rescue, grabs the punch bowl, and throws it over Mr. Lodge to put out the fire, preventing both second degree burns and the possibility of Mr. Lodge exposing his jockey shorts to a bunch of teenagers.  Of course, Mr. Lodge doesn't quite see this as heroism.  He's too busy erupting like Mount Kilauea to realize this.  So, to cool off, he goes on a nice healthy run, chasing Archie and Jughead out of the house in the process. 

Well, so much for celebrating Hawaii in December.  That said, there's something about the so-called comedy of error storylines that make me laugh.  They're scripted a lot like those old Looney Tunes cartoons, where one of the characters tries to do something special, and it all falls apart.  Certainly the theme of Archie trying to please Mr. Lodge is a common one for the Archie universe, and sometimes it works out.  But it's even funnier when it doesn't.  Poor Archie...will he ever win?

Coming up tomorrow, what happens when you have a delivery of baked goods to take to a charity event and you recruit Jughead of all people to help you out?  Nothing good, I promise you that!!!