Personally though, I'm not much of a football fan. Or, a sports fan for that matter.
However, I have found a football themed story for today that I think is a funny one.
This story originally appears in the comic book "Archie #269", and it features Archie and Betty as they happen to walk past a football practice and a stray football happens to land in front of them.
And given that the story "Your Big Chance" has been reprinted at least thrice (and possibly more), I'd say that it's a fairly popular tale.
Now, anybody who has ever read an Archie comic knows that Archie is very average when it comes to athletics. Oh, sure, he's physically fit as a fiddle and likes playing sports. It's just that in comparison to natural athletes like Reggie and Moose, Archie just can't measure up. In fact, he's kind of a klutz. However, Archie has a crazy dream that he shares with Betty as he picks up the football. He has always wanted to be respected as an athlete, and he loves the old made for television movies where the average looking guy kicks a football - say, sixty yards - is noticed by the head football coach, is impressed by his ability and offers him a football scholarship and the chance to play in the next Super Bowl.
Say...this is beginning to take shape. This is Archie's big opportunity to show the coach just what he is made of. Too bad Archie completely misses the point at first.
After Archie composes himself following the coach's outburst, Betty gives him a lot of encouragement, telling Archie that this is his big chance. The coach watches Archie with eager anticipation, and Archie is getting caught up in the moment. Archie proceeds to place the ball on the ground, prepared for the kick. The weather is clear, the crowd is silent, there's no Lucy Van Pelt around to take the ball away...the conditions are perfect for Archie to kick the ball sixty yards across the field. There's just one problem.
Archie still has zero athletic ability.
Archie completely misses the ball, the coach is left disappointed and walks away, and Betty is absolutely furious. Betty almost channels Veronica Lodge as she rants and raves about how Archie had his chance to prove himself and he choked. Her rage increases as she spews every single word and she gets so fired up that she spots the football and gives it a predictable boot.
I'm fairly sure that Betty just kicked that ball well over sixty yards and with such force that it completely knocks off the coach's toupee! Really, coach? Shaving it completely off would look much better than a cheap rug. Of course, once the coach puts his hair back on his head, he is amazed at that kick. Unfortunately, his back was turned so he automatically assumes that Archie was the one that placed the kick.
Now, now...hold on. This could be a new movie idea. Teenage girl "Goldentoes Cooper" becomes the newest kicker for the San Francisco 49ers, kicks twelve field goals in a row at the Super Bowl, becomes MVP of the team, and marries Archie in a lavish wedding ceremony.
I'll be checking my local listings for that one, that's for sure. Would be more interesting to watch than the actual Super Bowl, I think.
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