Digest Memory Lane

I like to think of myself as having a bit of a photographic memory.  Well, okay, a photographic long-term memory anyway.  I can remember everything that happened to me thirty years ago, but thirty seconds ago?  Not so much.

What were we talking about again?  Oh, yes.  My photographic memory.

It's actually come in handy when it comes to remembering where stories appeared in my vast Archie comics collection.  When it comes to some of my absolute favourite stories in the world, I can pick out what book it appeared in and go from there.  In fact, the two-part story that I have planned for February 13 and 14 is one story in which I can remember what book it is in, so I have easy access to it when I snap the pictures of it.

But my memory isn't linked to specific stories.  In some rare cases, I can actually remember where I was when I received certain digests! 

And that's what this blog entry is about.  I'll post seven digests that I can remember where I was when I got them, how old I was, who bought them for me (or if I bought them myself), and what significant events took place when I got them.  I figure it's a cool way for you all to get to know a little about myself.

I'll be going in chronological order here as far as when I got these digests - not when the digests were printed.  You'll see why that is in a bit.

The first digest we're looking at is "Little Archie Digest #24".  This one will always have a fond memory with me because it was the very first Archie comic I ever owned.  I had learned to read at an early age, and I was reading at a higher level than most five year olds that were around.  I was reading so well that I grew bored with children's books and found them not very interesting.  So, my mom went grocery shopping one night and bought this book for me.  I've been hooked ever since.  And this book was very well loved.  So well loved that my original copy actually fell apart because I read it so many times and had to buy a replacement copy of it a few years later once online shopping became a possibility!  And I've been a fan of Little Archie comics ever since.

The next book is "Archie's Double Digest #37", and this one is memorable for three very important reasons.  It was a book that I ended up getting three different copies of at the same time!  Of course, two of those copies I sold at garage sales, and kept the third one, but the circumstances behind it were not so good.  When I was seven, I was hospitalized for a week because of severe asthma.  It was my first time being in the hospital, and I did NOT take it very well at all.  My family did their best to try and make me feel comfortable though.  My mom and dad bought me this book from a bookstore for me to read so that I would feel better.  But then my sister bought me the same book from the hospital gift shop a day later...and then another friend included this same book as part of a get well soon gift basket! 

So, yeah...three copies of the same book.  At least it was a double digest, and I had a lot of time to kill.  I mean, I was in a hospital bed in the children's ward.  What else was I to do?

Next is "Laugh Digest #8" - which came out four years BEFORE I was born.  And no, I didn't go back in time to snag this one.  My sister actually bought me this book when I was nine. 

Back in those days, she was a fan of those true crime novels, and the cheapest place to buy them was a used bookstore in town called Mulberry Hill Books.  It has since changed its name to Book Trader, but if you're a fan of used books, you'd definitely enjoy this store a lot.  But while my sister was looking around the store, my gaze froze on what was the largest pile of Archie comics I had ever seen.  I mean, this store had almost every single digest ever made, and the minute I saw that pile, I wanted to buy every single one they had.  Of course, that didn't happen.  But my sister did allow me to buy two books for a dollar each.  I can't remember what the other one was, but this one caught my eye because it was at the top of the pile and it was bright yellow.  Plus, I had never seen a digest from the 1970s before prior to this and thought the covers looked cool.  Over the next 29 years, I think I've built up about 45-50% of my collection from that used book store. 

Do any of you recall having Secret Santa gift exchanges at work or at school?  You know, where you draw a person's name out of a hat and get them a present that doesn't exceed a certain dollar amount?  In fifth grade, I participated in one of these for the first time, and our budget was five bucks.  Mind you, in 1991, five bucks didn't buy too much, but it was doable.  Anyway, a girl named Bailey bought me two books, "Archie's Double Digest #57" and the book pictured above, "Archie's Story and Game Digest #22".  It was the perfect gift for this comic book guy, and believe it or not, I still have both of these books!

So here's an example of really bad timing on Archie's part.  First of all, the book pictured here "Archie's Pals 'n' Gals Double Digest #61" is one that I bought myself.  I bought it in Ottawa at the Rideau Centre (a giant mall in the middle of the city), and it was really the only thing I could afford to buy at the mall as I was a broke student at that time.  Of course, it wasn't until I saw the cover that I realized that it seemed a bit off.  Mind you, it wasn't really the fault of Archie Comics that the digest came out when it did - Archie comics are usually ready to be shipped weeks ahead of its on sale date.  The problem was that this particular digest's on sale date was - get this - one week after the September 11 attacks.  Yeah, a gag about delayed flights just one week after the worst terrorist attack on American soil...yeah, no wonder I remember that vividly.  But again, nobody's really at fault.  It was just horrendous timing.

Ah yes...another digest that reminds me of a hospital stay.  Come to think of it, it'll be eight years ago tomorrow that I had my gall bladder removed - and it ended up being a nightmare of a surgery.  Six hours, thirty stitches, a foot long scar across my chest...yeah, for my first surgical procedure, it was brutal.  But at least when I was recovering in the hospital, my family hooked me up with some reading material to distract me.  I received "Archie's Double Digest #216", "World of Archie Double Digest #4", and this book above - "Betty and Veronica Double Digest #188".  I only know which ones I received because they all had an April 2011 cover date on them, but still.  Free Archies! 

And finally, a story about a sad event.  Two and a half years ago, my cousin died suddenly at the age of 48, and my whole family traveled out of town to pay our last respects.  It was a bittersweet moment in the sense that while I was saying goodbye to my cousin, I was meeting a whole slew of other family members that I didn't know existed, and meeting them helped me come to terms with who I was as a person.  Needless to say, my talents in art were DEFINITELY explained, as it seems to be part of the Turcotte family genetics.

Anyway, on the way back to the hotel after the wake, we were quite hungry and we stopped off at a local mini mart to pick up snacks to eat in our rooms before we went to bed for the night.  And after I picked up some Cheetos and some cherry Cokes, I noticed "World of Archie Double Digest #61" at the magazine counter and bought that as well.  Of course, this elicited some chuckles from my family making cracks about how I was still buying comics at 35.  But, whatever.  It gave me some reading material that night.

And that's the stories of how I acquired some of my collection.  Maybe another time, I'll share some other memories.  For now, I ask you all...do you remember where you were when you bought certain comics?  I'd like to hear some of your stories!

"Name Game" - A Betty and Veronica Tale

How many of you have met someone famous? 

I'll admit that my list isn't very big.  I've only met members from a Canadian rock band (Wide Mouth Mason), as well as a couple of high-profile Canadian journalists.  However, it's very much a thrill when you happen to come across someone who is well-known and who you idolize very much.  It could be a pop star, a soap opera actor, or if you're lucky, even a movie star.  I think we all have those moments where we all get star struck once in a while.

Certainly, Betty and Veronica do.  In today's classic tale, we're going back nineteen years to the year 2000 where Betty has a chance to meet one of her idols.  But when she tries to tell everyone that she really met him, and she has to rely on Veronica to prove it, it doesn't quite go as planned.

Interestingly enough, this story - which first appeared in "Betty and Veronica Double Digest #85" is football themed, so I could have put this tale in the spotlight on Super Bowl Sunday.  It probably would have been more eventful than the actual Super Bowl based on some of the angry comments I read about it!  But I already featured a story on that day, so in this case consider this a football bonus.

It's a story that is called "Name Game".  And no, there's no Betty Betty bo Betty banana fanna fo Fetty me my mo Metty Betty action going on here.  A lot of crossed wires, but no actual name game.

So, anyone who knows Mr. Lodge knows that he does business deals with various celebrities and public figures in hopes of selling more product, and Betty and Veronica just happen to be hanging around Lodge Mansion to overhear Mr. Lodge putting on an informal business meeting with a prospective new client.  Betty is wondering who Mr. Lodge is meeting with, and Veronica explains that it's some retired football player.  Of course, since Veronica doesn't care about football or any kind of sports related trivia, she wouldn't have the slightest clue as to who he is.  Veronica is so inept at sports trivia that she thinks that Michael Jordan plays golf and that Babe Ruth scored touchdowns on the baseball diamond.  Yeah, you know, I can't fault Veronica.  I have zero interest in sports myself and would probably lose on Jeopardy if the Final Jeopardy answer was sports themed.

Anyway, Mr. Lodge finishes his meeting and heads to the front door with his special guest, whom Betty not only instantly recognizes but fawns over.

Okay, so I guess they can't get permission to use the real names of ALL athletes, because this is clearly supposed to be John Elway but for the sake of the story will be called Don Jellway.  Anyway, John...ahem...Don is introduced by Mr. Lodge to Betty and Veronica, and Betty is absolutely bouncing up and down with excitement over meeting him.  She says that Don is her favourite quarterback and has been a fan of his for years.  She even thinks about trying to get his autograph, or even a picture of him to mark the moment down for posterity.

But because Don is in a hurry to catch his flight back home, he's out of the mansion and in his car before Betty can catch up with him.  It's a bummer for Betty, but at least she can brag about meeting him to the guys.  She even has Veronica to back up her story in case they doubt her.  I just hope that Veronica can remember the guy's name.

Oh, Betty...you are so screwed.

The following afternoon at the Chocklit Shop, Betty is telling Chuck, Moose, and Reggie all about her meeting Don Jellway and how excited she was to meet him, but none of the three boys believe her.  I guess it's probably because Betty doesn't have any physical proof, but even so, this is Betty we're talking about here.  Why would she lie?  Like ever.  I mean, sure, Reggie is a slimeball sometimes and he is just stirring the pot, but why would Moose and Chuck be jerky about it?

And sadly for Betty, it just gets worse when Veronica enters the store.  Betty is determined to prove to the guys that she did meet Don Jellway and she prods Veronica to confirm that her story holds up.  But when Veronica can't seem to remember his name, it causes the three guys to make fun of Betty even more, and Betty is left dejected and alone. 

At least, that is until Mr. Lodge happens to come by with a present for Betty.  It seems as though he was talking to Mr. Jellway about how big of a fan Betty was, and he decided to do something nice for her.

I bet those guys are really eating crow now.  Well, all except Moose who happens to have a weird looking goofy grin on his face.  But still, it's nice that Don Jellway is a stand up guy who appreciates his fans.  In a world in which some professional athletes make a ton of cash and sometimes develop huge egos, it's good to see some people who recognize the fact that their fans are the ones that made them who they are.  Even though this IS a fictional tale.

And what a funny story from the perspective of Veronica.  She clearly doesn't care about sports and it definitely shows...but she does care about Betty.  I have to wonder if maybe she may have convinced Mr. Lodge to talk to Don, or John, or Juan, or whatever his name is.

"Your Big Chance" - An Archie Tale

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, everyone!  I hope for those of you who love football that you have a great day today cheering on your teams and chomping down on baked potato skins and chicken wings.

Personally though, I'm not much of a football fan.  Or, a sports fan for that matter. 

However, I have found a football themed story for today that I think is a funny one. 

This story originally appears in the comic book "Archie #269", and it features Archie and Betty as they happen to walk past a football practice and a stray football happens to land in front of them.

And given that the story "Your Big Chance" has been reprinted at least thrice (and possibly more), I'd say that it's a fairly popular tale. 

Now, anybody who has ever read an Archie comic knows that Archie is very average when it comes to athletics.  Oh, sure, he's physically fit as a fiddle and likes playing sports.  It's just that in comparison to natural athletes like Reggie and Moose, Archie just can't measure up.  In fact, he's kind of a klutz.  However, Archie has a crazy dream that he shares with Betty as he picks up the football.  He has always wanted to be respected as an athlete, and he loves the old made for television movies where the average looking guy kicks a football - say, sixty yards - is noticed by the head football coach, is impressed by his ability and offers him a football scholarship and the chance to play in the next Super Bowl.

Yes, that would be nice.  And when the coach approaches Archie and Betty asking for his ball back, even he comments on the idea of him coming across the next undiscovered football star, but says that opportunity will never come for him.  To which Archie angrily replies...

Say...this is beginning to take shape.  This is Archie's big opportunity to show the coach just what he is made of.  Too bad Archie completely misses the point at first.

After Archie composes himself following the coach's outburst, Betty gives him a lot of encouragement, telling Archie that this is his big chance.  The coach watches Archie with eager anticipation, and Archie is getting caught up in the moment.  Archie proceeds to place the ball on the ground, prepared for the kick.  The weather is clear, the crowd is silent, there's no Lucy Van Pelt around to take the ball away...the conditions are perfect for Archie to kick the ball sixty yards across the field.  There's just one problem.

Archie still has zero athletic ability.

Archie completely misses the ball, the coach is left disappointed and walks away, and Betty is absolutely furious.  Betty almost channels Veronica Lodge as she rants and raves about how Archie had his chance to prove himself and he choked.  Her rage increases as she spews every single word and she gets so fired up that she spots the football and gives it a predictable boot.

I'm fairly sure that Betty just kicked that ball well over sixty yards and with such force that it completely knocks off the coach's toupee!  Really, coach?  Shaving it completely off would look much better than a cheap rug.  Of course, once the coach puts his hair back on his head, he is amazed at that kick.  Unfortunately, his back was turned so he automatically assumes that Archie was the one that placed the kick. 

Now, now...hold on.  This could be a new movie idea.  Teenage girl "Goldentoes Cooper" becomes the newest kicker for the San Francisco 49ers, kicks twelve field goals in a row at the Super Bowl, becomes MVP of the team, and marries Archie in a lavish wedding ceremony. 

I'll be checking my local listings for that one, that's for sure.  Would be more interesting to watch than the actual Super Bowl, I think.

"The Waitress" - A Betty and Me Tale

So, I think I'm just going to go with the flow and just write an entry whenever I have time.  Lately I've been taking on additional duties at my official job, and I don't have as much time as I would like to spend here.  I think that if I can do at least three entries a week, it'll be fine.  Of course, I'll still be sticking with my schedule that I posted about in January.  You just never know what day I will be writing.

Fortunately, I'm off this weekend, so you can expect new blog entries for the next two days anyway.

Since Saturdays are random days, I can pick whatever subject I want to talk about.  And I think I'll choose a story that was reprinted in one of my latest acquisitions.

The story first appeared in "Betty and Me #22", and I find it incredibly hard to believe that this story will be turning fifty years old this year.  Then again, I find it hard to believe that I'm going to be thirty-eight this year.

The story is just one of many that appear in the newest series of "Archie Comics Presents" books.  The "Betty and Me" volume is just one of many titles that exist in the series so far, and this book contains the best stories from the first 40 issues of this title.  Considering that this title ran for 200 issues from 1965-1992, this is merely scratching the surface.  The "Me" in this title, of course, refers to Archie, as every single story in this collection features Archie.

Now, whether or not Betty succeeds in dating Archie in every single one of these stories...well, that's up to you to find out.  But one thing you can count on is that at some point, Veronica will try to come in between Betty and Archie.

Much like in the case of today's story - "The Waitress".

It seems as though Pop Tate has a little bit of extra cash to hire some help.  It's not that unusual for Pop Tate to hire people to help him.  I know that Archie has pitched in a couple of times...and of course, Jughead would love nothing more than to pitch in provided he gets paid with cheeseburgers in advance.  This time, it's Betty's turn to play waitress, and Pop seems pleased with his hire.  I would be too, as Betty is kind, courteous, and does what she is asked of her.

Do you want to know who isn't happy?  Veronica.  Seems like Veronica and Archie have a date together at Pop's and once Veronica learns that Betty is working there, she really goes out of her way to make sure that she is the customer from hell. 

If you ever needed a reminder of just how spoiled rotten Veronica could be in the late 1960s, here's your proof.  It's fairly obvious that she is only acting this way to prove how important she is, and to try and get under Betty's skin.  It's just that the way she goes about it is so obnoxious, she makes Veruca Salt look like Pollyanna.

(Or, if you want a more recent example, she makes Kylie and Kendall Jenner look like the Teletubbies.)

To Betty's credit though, she stays cool and calm under pressure, and shows a ton of professionalism while on the job.  If anything, the person she is really getting to is Pop Tate, who is visibly seething over Veronica's nasty attitude.  Archie, of course, just sits there and does nothing, because he probably is thinking that if he intervenes, he won't have any dates with Veronica for ten whole years.

Veronica finally stops insulting Betty enough to place an order for two super duper specials.  I'm not sure what exactly goes into a super duper special, but the Chocklit Shop has always been known for tasty desserts, so I'm sure it'll be a sweet treat.  Betty slightly loses her professional edge when she comments that Veronica will ruin her diet with one of those sundaes, but this only makes Veronica furious and she officially files a complaint against Betty for being too direct.  I'm sure Pop Tate takes the complaint in stride, but is secretly laughing at the ridiculousness of it all.

I'm thinking that by now, Archie is even noticing how unreasonable Veronica is being and actually tries to speak up about it.

Big mistake, Archie.  There's a huge part of me that thinks that this love triangle that Archie's been involved in for over 75 years really could have ended if Archie could remove his rose coloured glasses and see just how shrewish Veronica is.  But then, part of the reason why Archie comics have lasted over three-quarters of a century is BECAUSE of Archie's waffling.  Maybe that's why the side of his head looks like a waffle. 

Eventually, Veronica calms down enough for Pop Tate to finish making his famous super duper specials.  At this point, I'm sure Betty would rather walk across lava from a spewing volcano than serve Veronica, but since she's still on the clock and working for Pop Tate, she really doesn't have much choice.  She places Veronica's sundae on the table in front of her, and she turns to give Archie his...

...setting the stage for Veronica to deliberately cause a mess on the table, giving her another reason to complain about the horrible service that Betty has provided her.  Oh, for the love of poundcake, this is getting to be a bit much.  It's a miracle that Betty hasn't creamed Veronica with her serving tray yet.  But Pop Tate has a solution.  He will remake Veronica's sundae and serve it to her himself.  What could possibly go wrong?

Wow.  Turns out Pop is an even worse server than Veronica thinks Betty is.  Now Veronica has ice cream in her hair and all over her dress.  I mean, that's a Paris original that Pop Tate ruined!  How dare he?  Oh, and look at Archie trying to help Veronica by following behind her like a lovesick dog.  You know, there are times in which I wonder if Archie deserves to be the center of all this love and affection.  As for poor Betty, she probably feels terrible that Pop Tate thinks that she's no good as a waitress, and she feels bad that Veronica was the victim of an unfortunate accident.

So what did we learn from today's tale?

1.  Always show respect to your server at a restaurant.
2.  Always be professional, even if the customer is clearly in the wrong.
3.  Never anger the man who owns the ice cream shop.  NEVER.

"Oh, You Beautiful Doll" - An Archie and Veronica Tale

Sometimes stories are a product of their own time.  They came out during a period in which a major event was going on in the world, and they touched upon that event in the story.  Some examples of this in the Archie universe include the bicentennial of 1976, the hippie movement of the late 1960s and early 1970s, and stories about the Vietnam War.

Now while many of these stories are incredible references to historical events, and were relevant back in the day, they don't have the same impact in 2019 as they did when they were topical.  As a result, some of these stories were only printed once, or were reprinted only once.

Today's story is one of those examples.

Today's tale comes courtesy of "Archie #330".  As far as I know, this story was only reprinted once - in "Archie Digest #95", which was released four years later.  Now, if you can remember back in 1985 - or if you weren't born until after that year, ask your parents about this - you might recall that in the world of toys and games, there was one toy that was on the lists of many children that year - a toy that toy stores had a really hard time keeping in stock.

Anyone who was around during the early 1980s remembers the massive "Cabbage Patch Kid" shortage.  When the dolls first came out, they were pudgy, goofy looking dolls that had Xavier Roberts' signature stitched on their backside, and they all came with birth certificates that gave the doll a name and a birthdate.  It was a neat idea for a doll, and certainly one of the more unique toys of the early 1980s.  But when the dolls first went on sale in 1983, people were so determined to get one that there were reports of riots breaking out in toy stores because of it - which lasted about three or four years before Cabbage Patch Kids waned in popularity. 

Now, this sort of thing has repeated itself over the years.  The Teddy Ruxpin shortage of 1987.  The Tickle-Me-Elmo brawls of 1996.  And we won't even begin talking about the outcry over the great Hatchimal shortage of 2017!  But the Cabbage Patch Kid tale was strictly an eighties thing, so I can understand why the story wasn't reprinted after 1989.

This is a story that in the original was credited to Archie, and in the reprint credited to Veronica.  And it's called "Oh, You Beautiful Doll".

Veronica makes no secret about the fact that she has a huge doll collection.  After all, she is rich and can afford most of them.  But she regrets that the one doll that she doesn't have is a...Cauliflower Patch Doll.  Something that Archie jokes are harder to find than "Cabbage Patch Dolls".

Yeah, that's probably because Cauliflower Patch Dolls don't exist, and this story was actually poking fun at Cabbage Patch Kid hysteria.

Anyway, Veronica discovers that a shipment of Cauliflower Patch Dolls are coming to a department store in town, and she practically manipulates Archie with her charm to have him get her one.  Archie agrees to it, but also dreads it.  For one, the news reports of people getting into fights over the dolls has him nervous.

And for another reason, Archie has to set his alarm clock for four o'clock in the morning to secure his spot in line for a doll.  A tactic that Mrs. Andrews (and myself) think is a bit ridiculous.  But Archie is determined to make Veronica happy, so he will do whatever it takes to get her a doll.  Of course, many of Riverdale's citizens have the same exact idea that he has and he quickly learns that there is a mob of people waiting to get inside when the store opens.  Archie is worried until the man standing in line in front of him tells him that the store has a hundred dolls available and that he's about fiftieth in line.  Archie considers that a guarantee.

You know what would also be a guarantee?  If a staff member gave out tickets to the first hundred people in line.  That's what my store did when the PlayStation 3 was released a few years ago.

It's a shame the store didn't go that route.  Because the people in the back of the line began to push ahead, and poor Archie is trampled by the Cauliflower Patch crowd.  Archie tries to get back up and notices an elderly man getting stomped on as well.  Geez, what is this?  Black Friday in Riverdale?

Archie helps the man up, but the man is not badly hurt.  Besides, he managed to get a Cauliflower Patch doll for his granddaughter.  It's then that Archie realizes that he messed up, and by the time he gets to the counter, all the dolls are gone.  Archie is down.  But not out.

Archie gets the idea that another shipment of dolls will likely be coming soon, and he thinks that if he waits by the receiving docks of the store, he might get lucky.

Unfortunately everyone else who did NOT get a doll had the same idea, and before you know it, the mob of people are swarming the delivery truck.  The scene gets one man in a shirt and tie (who likely is one of the assistant managers of the store) involved, and he says that there is no way that they can sell the dolls outside.  Of course, all it takes is the threat of an elderly grandmother threatening to bash his skull in with an umbrella for him to change his mind.

Finally, Archie has grabbed the holy grail of toys.  He has his hands on a full-fledged, honest to goodness, real Cauliflower Patch Doll!  Boy, Veronica will be indebted to him for life - or at least it'll be good for two months of steady dates.  There's really nothing that could break Archie's mood.

Well, unless you're Archie and you completely screw up by losing the adoption papers that come with the doll.  Archie needs to get those papers now.  How else is Veronica supposed to know that her doll's name is Chelsea Cornelia and that her birthday is October 14?  Or, maybe it's Kimberly Renee, and her birthday is December 18.  Or, it could be Freya Jennifer, and her birthday is February 29.

So Archie is forced to wiggle through the mob of people just to get the adoption papers that come with the doll.  By the end of it all, Archie's clothes are ripped, his hair has been pulled, and I am pretty sure that he might have sustained a lot of cuts and bruises from just getting stepped on.  But in the end, it's all worth it because Veronica will have her doll and her collection will be complete.  Archie is absolutely on Cloud 9 as he approaches the Lodge Mansion, and Veronica will be sure to like the doll that he picked out for her.  But Veronica has a surprise of her own for Archie...

Yep.  Veronica decided to get her father to buy the entire Cauliflower Patch Doll company, and now she has enough Cauliflower Patch Dolls to fill up Miss Grundy's classroom.  Oh, I can just imagine the sick feeling that poor Archie went through just to get that doll.  My heart breaks for him, it really does.  I mean, he went through so much that I almost want to give him a hug.  He doesn't deserve to have gone through all that - especially when he did it for a woman who doesn't care for him as much as he does her.  He should have just given the doll to Betty.  Now he's the proud owner of a Cauliflower Patch Doll.  Um, yay?

Archie is so down that he decides to drown his sorrows in a couple of lime fizzes at Pop's Chocklit Shop.  Seated at the counter where Pop Tate is standing is Pop Tate's niece, who happens to be somewhere in the neighbourhood of eight to twelve years of age.  When Archie sits down, the girl recognizes the doll as a Cauliflower Patch Doll, and Pop Tate explains that she has wanted the doll for such a long time.

Well...at least this story has a happy ending.  Pop Tate's niece has the very thing she wanted, and Archie felt good that even though he went through heck to get the doll in the first place, in the end, he gave it to someone who deserved it and would appreciate it.

"One of Those Days" - An Archie Tale

Have you ever had a bad day where nothing ever goes right?  I can tell you from experience that I have.  Many times.  In fact, just today, I had a day in which things just didn't go right.  I split my shoe, my badge to punch into work wouldn't swipe making me ten minutes late for work, and I accidentally knocked over a whole display of potatoes while stocking them. 

Okay, so maybe my day wasn't quite as eventful as Alexander in "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day".  But I guarantee that in today's Archie tale, nobody...not even Alexander...could match the day that Archie has had.  And we only get to see a portion of it in today's story!

The story was drawn by Harry Lucey and first appeared in "Everything's Archie #39".  It's a tale that is called "One of Those Days", and while some of us can relate to having at least one of the misfortunes that Archie experiences in this tale, it's almost unheard of to have them all happen on the same day...within an HOUR!!!

Misfortune #1 begins when Archie forgets to set his alarm the night before.  He's so busy dreaming of Veronica that his mother has to force him to wake up.  Fortunately when I was in school, I lived right next door to my school, so I literally could wake up ten minutes before school started and still be on time.  Archie doesn't have that luxury.  He rushes out of his room half-dressed and decides that the best place to put on his jeans is right on the staircase.  What could possibly go wrong?

Well, I don't think that Archie was trying to kill himself, but he might as well have.  That's a lot of stairs to fall down!  This panel almost makes it appear as if Archie sustained a major concussion, or possibly ended up knocking himself out cold.  And to add to the embarrassment, he's in his underwear!  Not a good look, Archie.

Fortunately, Archie appears to be okay, and he rushes towards the kitchen to scarf down some breakfast.  I hope the fact that Archie forgot to put on shoes and socks won't cause anything to happen.

Well, aside from stubbing his toe.

Trust me, I know how Archie feels.  I've stubbed my toes many times, and one time I lost the toenail off of my right big toe because I stubbed my toe against the refrigerator.  It is painful, and it hurts, and it causes you to hop on one foot to try and relieve the pain.  Which explains why Archie loses his balance, trips over his chair, and his oatmeal lands right on top of his head.  Okay, seriously, Mrs. Andrews.  Your son is late for school and you serve him OATMEAL?  Didn't you have any muffins or Pop Tarts?  I did my research.  Pop Tarts had been around for a decade when this story first came out.  You could have made it so easy.  So, I call foul on you, Mrs. A.

Mrs. Andrews is forced to wipe off Archie's head with a kitchen towel which obstructs Archie's vision to the point where he can't see a thing.  I hope this doesn't cause anything to happen.

Geez, Archie's mom.  Could you not be any less sympathetic?  I mean, your son should be going to the hospital for brain damage with the amount of times he's hit it!  Seriously, Archie.  Take a sick day!  But no.  Archie's determined to snap out of it and get to school.  How much worse could things possibly get?

Well, as Archie runs down the street in hopes of making it to school on time, he fails to notice his surroundings, which is bad.  After all, there might be some stray animals on the street that he might accidentally run into.

Or, accidentally step on.  Don't worry, the dog ends up being okay.  In fact, the dog is so angry at Archie that he chases him down the street!  Archie is really having a rough day.  How is he going to escape this one?  Well, Archie decides to try his luck by scaling a fence that the dog can't climb.  Archie is already late for school and the last thing he wants is for the dog to come at him and tear a hole right in his jeans.

Besides.  Why worry about the dog when a stray nail sticking out of the fence can tear a hole in the seat of Archie's pants just as nicely?  Fortunately, Archie is wearing a jacket and he uses it to tie around his waist so that the hole will not be seen.  But it's not a bad strategy.  I remember wrapping my jacket around my waist when I had a wardrobe malfunction or two.  Usually though, my front zipper breaks, or I pop a button.  This is a major wardrobe malfunction for Archie.

And it just gets worse as Archie rushes towards the front entrance of the school as the opening bell sounds.  Archie is already late, and he could basically just give it up and just accept defeat and walk inside the school.  But no, he has to go in and rush...

Say goodbye to the jacket.  Archie, by this point, asks what more can go wrong?  And he says this as he approaches Moose whose own vision is blocked by the flat of plants that he is holding.

And to think that this all took place within ONE HOUR!  I can just predict what happens next.  He gets beaten up by Moose, gets detention by Miss Grundy and somehow will end up blowing himself up in a lab accident.  Oh, and Betty and Veronica will find out that he made dates with both of them at the same time, and they both slap him.

What can he say?  Just one of those days.                                                                                                   

"In Search of the Beat: Part 2" - A Jughead Tale

Yesterday in this blog, we started a story about Jughead's obsession with an old drummer from the 1950s, Crazy Willie Jim.  He took Archie and Betty on a tour of Riverdale's many record stores for his records, and on his way home he passed by a street band whose drummer had the same exact style of playing as Crazy Willie Jim.  When we last left off, Jughead has tracked the mysterious man to a seedy apartment building in the rough part of town, and he is determined to find out whether this man really is Crazy Willie Jim.

This is the second part of the story "In Search of the Beat", which originally appeared in "Jughead #2".

It doesn't take long for Jughead to get the man to admit that he is Crazy Willie Jim.  Apparently, Jim didn't want to tell Jughead who he was because he thought that he was a social worker.  To be honest, I think if the writer had used bill collector instead, it might have sounded more realistic.  Well, as realistic as a teenager being a bill collector or a social worker could be.  Anyway, once Jughead tells Jim that he's a drummer with the Archies and how much of a fan he is of his music, Jim changes his tune and greets Jughead very warmly.  In fact, Jughead manages to convince Jim to come down to the Kandy Klub.  The Archies have a gig there coming up and Jughead would consider it an honour for Crazy Willie Jim to watch them perform and perhaps give Jughead some pointers on how to replicate his sound.  Crazy Willie Jim accepts Jughead's invitation.

The night of the Archies concert at the Kandy Klub (where apparently they serve cherry Kool-Aid as a beverage for some bizarre reason), everyone is enjoying the Archies set list.  But the person who seems to be enjoying the band the most is Crazy Willie Jim.  Just based on his lingo, you can tell that he's gone back in time to 1957 again!  But Jim is definitely impressed by the band.  And after the band stops performing to take a brief break, Jughead decides to invite Crazy Willie Jim to sit in for him on a couple of songs, allowing him the use of his drum set.  It's an offer that Jim doesn't refuse.  His only condition is that he is allowed to use his own drumsticks.  I can only assume that he's owned those drumsticks since the days when he was releasing albums.

Needless to say, once a person learns how to do something, they never really forget it.  And even though there's a lot less hair on his head and his face has a few more wrinkles, Crazy Willie Jim still has it.

Archie, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica are blown away by the immense talent of Crazy Willie Jim, but Jughead didn't doubt him for a second.  I can only imagine how much joy Jughead felt seeing his idol playing the drums in his band.  It was such a positive moment for Jughead to play with his idol, but I imagine for Crazy Willie Jim, it was the highlight of the last twenty years of his life.  It was like he was back in top form and the spotlight was deservedly shone on him.

Jughead is so happy about Crazy Willie Jim playing for the Archies that the band decided to give him some of the money that they made playing at the Kandy Klub.  At first, Crazy Willie Jim refuses to take it, but once Jughead insists on giving it to him, he agrees...but tells Jughead that playing with them was all the reward he needed.

Weeks go by, and Jughead continues to listen to Crazy Willie Jim's albums and tries to play along with the rhythm.  He spends so much time practicing that Archie wonders if he's dropped off the face of the earth, but Jughead tells Archie that all he wants to do is replicate Crazy Willie Jim's style so that he can impress him.  I get the feeling that Crazy Willie Jim was happy to see that he was still connecting with young fans, but knowing that one of them liked him enough to try and emulate him would naturally give him some warm fuzzies.

But when Jughead gets to Crazy Willie Jim's street hangout, his bandmates have some very devastating news.

You know, it's not very often that a comic book like Archie kills off characters, but when they do, it certainly is like a sucker punch to the gut.  It was very similar to when Lisa Simpson lost Bleeding Gums Murphy.  Losing someone you consider a hero or an idol...that had to hurt.  Just seeing Jughead's expression when they told him that Crazy Willie Jim passed away.  It's heartbreaking.

And if you weren't crying before, you will when you see the part when Jughead is gifted Crazy Willie Jim's special drumsticks.  For someone to give someone they just met their prized possessions before they died...well, you know that they had to make a huge impact.  Jughead is very sad, but he knows one way to honour him.  Play with his bandmates and show them what he learned from him.  Sure enough, Crazy Willie Jim lives on through Jughead as his bandmates notice that Jughead is playing the song EXACTLY like Crazy Willie Jim. 

You know, I've said that of all the Archie stories I've read, this one ranks within my Top 10.  It is such a beautiful tale of friendship and honouring those you love.  It's a story that shows Jughead in a light that most of us don't really see, and it's really great to watch Jughead grow in this story.  I have to think that Jughead will be the legacy that Crazy Willie Jim hoped to leave behind, and I think Jughead will make sure that he is never forgotten.