"The New Archies Reviewed" - Episode 1A: The Visitor

I know I've been hiding away for a bit.  The past week has been really busy with work related stuff.  However, I am on vacation this week, which means I have some time to play around.

And for the next twenty-seven days, I'll be taking you on a trip back in time over thirty years to review every single episode of a particular Archie themed series.

Back in the days in which I still wrote on A POP CULTURE ADDICT'S GUIDE TO LIFE, I reviewed the entire series known as "The New Archies".  Every week between the summer of 2015 into early January 2016, I reviewed all twenty-six half episodes of the series.

So, for a special treat to all of you who may have missed it the first time, I'll be reposting those reviews in PEP CULTURE.  For posterity, of course.

There's just a couple of things that I should note before I go ahead with this.  Firstly, these entries are at least three years old, and at the time I had taken the screenshots with my then brand new iPad mini.  I wasn't sure how to get rid of the YouTube scrollbar at the time, so that's why on some of these entries, you'll see them in the screenshots.  And secondly, because I am copying and pasting these entries from my other blog, the font and colour of font will be different.  But hey, at least you will be able to tell where the reviews begin and end.

Now that we've clarified all of this, let's begin "The New Archies Reviewed" with episode 1A:  The Visitor!  This was originally written on July 17, 2015.

So, just to clarify, this show (which debuted September 12, 1987) is set during Archie's junior high school years.  Think of it as an animated Degrassi Junior High, only without the controversial subjects.  So, don't be shocked at the fact that Archie, Reggie, and Jughead sound like they've been inhaling helium.  They're supposed to be 12.  Or, if you want to take their 1941 birthdate in effect, they're 46-year-olds pretending they're twelve.

Anyway, we open the episode with Miss Grundy (who apparently is a glutton for punishment as she has followed Archie and the gang from preschool to high school) looking over some of the students' science fair projects and after seeing some of them in action, she wonders why she took up teaching in the first place.

At least we have Eugene to represent Riverdale Junior High with pride.  And Eugene is a rather strange character.  Apparently, he's kind of a hybrid of Chuck Clayton and Dilton Doiley.  Perhaps adding both of those characters in the show would have been too much work for the animators, and the producers were told to throw in a couple of African American characters to round out the cast.  But they already had Chuck and his girlfriend Nancy.  I mean, sure, Nancy is a third tier character who does nothing but kiss and yell at Chuck, but Chuck was an important character in the Archie universe.  And Dilton appeared in Little Archie comics!  What, did he go to a different junior high school and then attended Riverdale High with everyone else?

And Eugene seems to be a character who only appears in The New Archies.  Maybe he went to Central High, or skipped five grades and went to Yale, or fell in an open manhole or something.  You'll meet another character like Eugene around episode 2B.

Anyway, Archie decides that science class makes him narcoleptic so he falls asleep in class using Eugene's science project as a pillow.  He accidentally turns the thing on, which causes Archie to sport the awesome face above.  There's also a sound effect that goes with this face that sounds like a cat in heat.  It's quite scary.

Anyway, Eugene and Jughead (whose hat is hot pink for some reason) arrive just in time to see Eugene's project hop out the window and bounce down the street.  Eventually, the contraption crashes into a tree, which causes a huge laser beam to shoot up towards the sky.

And the next moment, an unidentified flying object lands on Eugene's project smashing it to smithereens before settling on the ground below.  Now, I've heard of tales of aliens abducting human beings before, but I think this is the first time we've seen a human abducting an alien.  At least it's original.

Don't worry though.  This cute little guy wouldn't hurt a fly.  He was kidnapped in peace.  And surprisingly enough, when he finds out that his ship is damaged, he doesn't pull out an atomic ray gun to shoot Jughead's nose off.  Instead, he pouts about not being able to go home again. 

Well, Archie and his friends decide that they will help him find a way back home, and they dub him "Dude", as that seems to be one of the few English words our alien knows.  Funny how Dude can't speak English, but he can fully understand it.  Maybe his planet has Rosetta Stone or English for Dummies or something like that.

Of course, walking around Riverdale with a space alien who is only two feet tall would be a red alert right off the bat, so Archie and Eugene decide that he will blend in with an oversized sports jersey and Jughead's hot pink chapeau.  Because oversized jerseys make everyone invisible. 

They decide to take Dude to school where Coach Kleats is holding a basketball practice session, and where we are first introduced to the perky and sweet Betty Cooper, and the snobby, Valley Girl Veronica Lodge.  And if you thought these outfits were the worst that these characters could be wearing, you ain't seen nothing yet.

We also get to meet Reggie Mantle for the first time, and Reggie is just as egotistical and obnoxious as he is in the cartoons.  And naturally, Reggie decides that he wants to make fun of Dude.  Of course, Archie passes off Dude as Jughead's cousin (which would have worked had Archie called him Souphead), but Reggie is unimpressed and knocks Dude out with a basketball.

Seriously, Reggie throws a basketball at Dude and sends him flying across the gym.  Archie is pissed off at Reggie, but Dude is even more pissed.  You know that they're setting up for something.

In the meantime, Archie proceeds to wipe the floor with Reggie on the basketball court - which is out of character for Archie.  Usually whenever Archie plays basketball, he either knocks over a cheerleader, trips over a bench, or crashes through a wall.  But hey, it's The New Archies.  They created a character by removing character traits from two others.  Anything is possible.

Meanwhile, Dude discovers the love of his life on Earth, and how could anyone not resist Betty?  With her sweet personality, warm smile, and hair that looks like it was put together by seventy cans of Aqua-Net, how could any alien resist her?

And to show how much Dude wants Betty, he sinks a spectacular basket which causes Coach Kleats to salivate over the fact that this little Dude could be his next star player.  Well, Reggie decides that he won't let anyone steal his thunder so he proceeds to try and humilate Dude.

But a Dude never forgets when he has been wronged, and using his laser pointer finger proceeds to make another basket - with Reggie as the ball!

Back at Eugene's house, Eugene discovers the reason why the spaceship won't run.  It's out of fuel.  And Dude remarks that the only thing that will make his ship go is something called Feltzig - which Archie and Eugene have no idea what it is.  Archie decides that he may as well take Dude on a trip through town, hoping that he can find out what this Feltzig is.

While Reggie - who was hiding in the bushes and overheard the whole conversation between Archie and Eugene - wants to find the highest paying research facility to sell Dude to for the highest bidder.

So, Reggie decides to fill Veronica in on his plan (because Veronica can be just as bitchy as he is), and Veronica decides that taking Dude to her father's laboratory will be the best way for them to make lots of money and become famous for finding an alien.  Never mind that Reggie and Veronica are two of the richest kids in town already.  They're just being greedy.  Sometimes it's hard to find things to like about them...like how Reggie seems to think that pink argyle is sexy, or how Veronica seems to think that leopard tights, lime green star earrings, and purple boots go together.  I don't recall fashion being THAT bad in '87.

And for that matter, when did the Chocklit Shop become a video arcade?  Granted, arcades were all the rage in the 1980s, but Pop's Chocklit Shop is sacred! 

And while Archie asks a confused Pop Tate what Feltzig is, Dude proceeds to blow up an arcade game inside Pop's, which amazingly nobody seems to feel is worth mentioning.  Man, Riverdale must have been a very laid back community in the 1980s, huh?

Veronica comes up to Dude, tells him that Betty is outside, and feeling his heart throbbing out of his chest, Dude proceeds to let love make him stupid as Reggie easily catches him with a potato sack.  Veronica and Reggie proceed to then use a tandem bike to take Dude to the research facility with help from an old friend.  Hey, there Smithers!  Nice to see that you stayed employed with the Lodges the whole time!

But Archie is not willing to let Dude go without a fight.  He grabs his skateboard and chases after them. 

Yeah, a skateboard/tandem bike chase.  Welcome to 1980s Riverdale!

Interestingly enough, the bike passes a hamburger stand in the middle of the park, and Dude is excited.  He screams at Archie FELTZIG!  FELTZIG!  And Archie finally clues in that Feltzig = hamburgers!

Which he probably could have found out at Pop Tate's since Pop's sells HAMBURGERS.  Heck, all Dude would have had to have done was see a poster of a hamburger on the wall of Pop's and had his FELTZIG moment.  But we never explored this because of plot issues, so we're left with a bizarre bike/skateboard chase, an alien screaming about Feltzig, and Archie looking like an idiot because they were practically at a Feltzig station just two minutes ago!

Eventually, this mercy chase comes to an end when Betty comes a walkin' down the street, which makes Dude's heart go doo-wah-diddy-diddy-dum-diddy-doo.  Betty looked good, she looked fine, and Dude nearly lost his mind.  He leaps out of the bike, into Betty's arms, and Archie rescues Dude, getting a big fat kiss from Dude in the process.

Okay, so Dude was trying to kiss Betty.  Mistakes happen.

At the same time this is going on, Archie passes Eugene and Jughead who explain that Feltzig is hamburgers, and Jughead decides to throw his half-eaten burger in the ship, causing it to zoom all the way to Pop Tate's, where it lands in the parking lot as Archie and Dude arrive.  Archie orders a platter of 25 burgers from Pop's (or in Jughead terms, lunch), throws them into the spaceship, and stiffs Pop for the bill.  What's Archie's tab with the Chocklit Shop now at?  $76.98?

But it's worth it.  The tank is filled up, Dude can go home, and he bids Archie and Jughead a tearful goodbye.  It's actually a very sweet moment, given that it's a cartoon.

And not more than a few seconds after Dude blasts off, Reggie, Veronica, and Mr. Lodge show up at Pop's to grab the alien.  But Archie and Jughead play it cool as if there were no alien, and soon Mr. Lodge turns on his spoiled brat of a daughter and her stupid friend, and they go home in Mr. Lodge's limousine - which I am sure he turned off the A/C to punish them further.

(Told you I wouldn't go easy on Reggie or Veronica.)

And as the first episode closes, Archie and his dog, Red (Archie's second of three dogs - I'll explain it in the episode centered around Archie's dog) look up towards the sky where a blinking white light fills the sky and faint sounds can be heard.  Archie knows that it's Dude saying goodbye, and he says "Welcome home, Dude".

Okay, so the first episode was kind of rough.  You can automatically tell that it's the pilot episode, as sometimes the background music was fading in and out, and the voices are hard to hear sometimes.  But for the plot of the show, it's not a bad one.  It's a unique twist on a classic sci-fi plot.  Dude was definitely a cute character, and it's nice to see Archie, Jughead, and Eugene come to Dude's aid - even though they caused the situation to begin with.

Coming up tomorrow:  Class elections are coming up, and Betty and Veronica decide to run against each other.  What could POSSIBLY go wrong?

"On The Mark, Part Two" - An Archie and Chuck Tale

Previously in the story "On The Mark", we met Archie and Chuck's new friend, Mark.  Mark is a budding football star who is also very good at the part-time job where he works alongside Archie and Chuck.  He's even managed to win the Employee of the Month award at the workplace.  But for whatever reason, Mark seems to not really care about that all that much.  In fact, Archie and Chuck have guessed that something just isn't right about Mark.  Perhaps it may have something to do with the fact that he has moved around a lot and he's awkward around people, or maybe it has to do with the fact that he goofs off in school and doesn't do his homework. 

I'm sure that there's a reasonable explanation for this, and we're about to find out what that is when we start part two of this tale.

Archie and Chuck are set to begin their shift at the "Snack Shack", and since it looks like they are doing an opening shift, it's their responsibility to get the ovens started so they can get the food prepared before the lunch rush begins.  I'm thinking this must be a weekend shift.  However, all is not right at the "Snack Shack".  Archie is having trouble with one of the gas ovens.  It's not functioning properly at all, and Archie is worried that they could be in danger if anyone tried to start it up.  Chuck agrees and tells Archie to write a note warning everyone of the potential danger, which Archie does.  He sticks it on the front of the oven so that everybody can see it.  That should be sufficient enough, right?

Well, despite the fact that the note is clearly posted, Mark still approaches the oven with light in hand ready to start up the broken oven! 

At least, he tries to.  See, Chuck spots what Mark is doing, and tackles him to the ground just before Mark can get to the oven.  Mark accidentally burns his hand in the melee, but otherwise is fine.  But Mark is furious with Chuck for tackling him, and claims that he had no right to do so!  To which Chuck replies, "if you lit that pilot light, the whole mall could have gone kablooey".  Seriously, Chuck is angry and when Mark jokes about it, it REALLY sets him off.  He wonders why Mark would even think to light the oven when the note telling him "DON'T DO IT" is clearly there.  It's not like him to be careless, and he certainly should have been able to read it...

...and then the gears click in Chuck's brain, and as Archie arrives to see what all the commotion is about, Chuck makes the connection.  The reason why Mark didn't understand the note is because he COULDN'T read it.  Mark is a functioning illiterate.  He is perfectly capable of doing a lot of things, but for whatever reason Mark never learned how to read.  It's a shocking admission, but not unheard of.  I seem to recall that the 1980s had lots of public service announcements about ending illiteracy, so at the time this story first came out, it was not uncommon a problem.

Mark explains that because he was never able to stay in the same school for more than a few months at a time, he somehow missed out on the lessons in school that would have taught him how to read.  By the time he realized it was a problem, he was already too far ahead in school.  He learned tricks to avoid the problem, like making jokes whenever he was called out on it, or getting friends of his to write book reports, homework assignments, or projects for him to keep passing each grade.  Mark realizes that he has closed so many doors for himself by not reading, but he thinks that he's at the age where it's too late for him to learn to read and that he is too embarrassed or stupid to admit that he can't read.  But Chuck reminds him that he would only be stupid if he didn't do anything about it.  And Archie and Chuck decide that they will help Mark out by teaching him how to read.  It will be their secret.

For what it's worth, Archie and Chuck do a great job teaching Mark how to read.   They start off slowly, using the standard children's books like "See Jane run, run Jane run" thing.  But Mark is a great learner, and soon he graduates to textbooks and novels within a month.  Mark gets his very first library card, finds board games much more fun now that he can read the Chance cards on Monopoly, and by the end of the next month, he's now doing crossword puzzles!

You know, I have to point out that many functioning illiterates are not stupid people.  If they were paired with someone who had the patience and the understanding to help them, they could grasp reading as fast as Mark did.  Illiteracy is a serious issue in the world, and I think that we all have a responsibility to make sure that it is eradicated.

I'm so proud of Archie and Chuck for showing Mark the way.  I'm also proud of Mark for realizing that he needed to fix this problem and worked hard to make it happen.  And I think Mark is eternally grateful to both of them for opening up his eyes to a whole new world. 

This was a great tale.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

"On The Mark, Part One" - An Archie and Chuck Tale

Archie is one of those characters that can really be paired with almost anybody and the story can be a great read.  Naturally, Archie works best when paired with Jughead (as an entire digest series called Jughead With Archie ran for two hundred episodes), but he has had some great stories with Betty and Veronica.  And even Reggie could be counted on to work as Archie's antagonist once in a while.

But pairing Archie with Chuck Clayton?  That was genius.  Since Chuck's introduction to the Archie universe in the early 1970s, both the "Life With Archie" and "Archie at Riverdale High" series have paired both of these characters up to solve mysteries and help others in need.  The two have a strong friendship and they work off each other well.

In fact, today's two-part story (I want to do at least one of these a month) features Archie and Chuck meeting a brand new friend with a rather uncomfortable and shameful secret.  What that secret is?  Well, you'll find out soon enough.

First of all, the story originally appeared in "Life With Archie #265" - and it's a story that is kind of hidden towards the back of the book right after a tale in which Archie and Veronica experience a Tarzan like story.  It's a shame, because I really like today's featured tale a lot more, and think that it should have been the main feature...not the one on the cover.

This is a story called "On The Mark" - and as I mentioned, it is a two part story.  I'll post the second half tomorrow.

The action begins at the tail end of a high school football game between Riverdale High and Central High.  And it appears as though Riverdale is kicking some Central behind based on the opening panel.  Surprisingly though, the star of the team is not Moose or Reggie.  It's a guy named Mark, who is new to Riverdale High.  Archie comments on the fact that Mark has a great arm, and after the game is over, Chuck comments on how great a player Mark really is.  Mark loves playing football and he is hopeful that a football scout will take notice of him.  Chuck mentions that representatives from a variety of state colleges sometimes check out games to scout new talent (which would be a lot better than buying your way into school, Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin).  Mark doesn't seem to be interested in school though.  He wants to go right into pro football.  A lofty goal, but still - college would open more doors.  Nothing much else to add to this conversation except for two pieces of information.  One, Mark's father has a job that has caused the family to relocate many times during Mark's childhood, which I assume would make maintaining friendships and keeping up with studies difficult.  And secondly, Archie and Chuck have a part time job working at a food court restaurant at the mall called the "Snack Shack" and they have a shift that night.

It must be a busy day at the mall because Archie and Chuck are swamped and are having a hard time keeping up with the orders.  I can't say I know a lot about working fast food because I've never had a job in that industry, but I do work retail and it can be just as frustrating some days.  There never seems to be enough help and the tasks seem like they would take forever to accomplish.

Fortunately, Mark is here to help them out.  He found the "HELP WANTED" sign on the ground next to the Snack Shack, and Mark is interested in getting a job there.  Because Archie and Chuck are desperate to get all their customers served, Archie pretty much hires him on the spot.  There's just one problem.  This is Mark's first part-time job and he has had zero experience in fast food.  Archie is visibly frustrated by this, but Chuck is more cool as a cucumber and volunteers to train Mark himself.  Before long, Mark is fit for a uniform and the three tag team the customers to get all of them served.

For what it's worth, Mark seems to do a great job, and the next time Archie and Chuck meet up at school, Chuck remarks at how acclimated Mark has gotten to the job.  He only had to be told everything once, and at some points was even faster at serving customers than they were.  But Archie still has reservations.

Now, before you think that Archie is being unnecessarily mean, keep in mind that Archie went through this before when Moose was diagnosed with dyslexia.  It's possible that something might be wrong with Mark.  And Archie's intuitions about people aren't usually wrong. 

I mean, Mark hasn't exactly endeared himself to faculty of Riverdale High.  He breaks rules unknowingly and makes fun of it when he pretends to misunderstand them.  He is frequently turning in homework assignments late or not at all.  And he appears to be too busy to read a newspaper story about his winning plays in the last football game, so he asks Chuck to read it to him in the locker room.  A bit eccentric, but okay.

And while Archie is concerned that Mark is hiding something, Chuck is starting to suspect that not everything is as it seems when Chuck asks Mark to write a list of supplies that they need to replenish their storeroom.  But of course, Mark makes up some excuse about having to clean the grill and his hands are dirty and greasy.  This is getting very weird, and Chuck and Archie have a conversation as they take the garbage out to the dumpster.  Archie and Chuck know that Mark is definitely hiding something, but neither one can figure it out.  But one thing they can agree on is that Mark has been a real asset to the "Snack Shack".  And after a whole month passes, something happens that is sure to brighten Mark's day.  Apparently Mark has done such a great job that the bosses have declared him to be the employee of the month!  That's great news!  Surely, Mark will be super excited about it!

Or not.  Something is DEFINITELY off here.  But you'll have to wait until tomorrow for Part 2 of this tale.  See you later!  I'll let you try to figure out what is going on.                 

"It's Friendship" - A Hot Dog Tale

Have any of you ever been on the website known as Reddit?  It's a site in which people share stories of things that happened to them (whether they really happened or not), and get out some frustration about what is bothering them.  These stories can fall under several "sub-reddits", such as "Entitled Parents", "Choosing Beggars", "I Don't Work Here, Lady", and "Petty Revenge".  At best, they can be a fun read, and several YouTube channels are devoted to unearthing these Reddit tales for amusement (and to show us just how crazy some people can really be).

Well, today's tale could fall under the heading "Petty Revenge".  Or, maybe even "Pro Revenge".  It's what happens when a woman makes some horrible comments about someone and crosses the line a little too much, and ends up getting mud all over her face. 

The best part?  The person who gets the revenge isn't a person at all.  It's a dog!

Jughead's dog, Hot Dog, to be exact.  And Hot Dog's victim?  Veronica Lodge, of course.

I mean, let's face it.  Jughead and Veronica have never really been best friends with each other in the comics.  In fact, Jughead and Veronica can have a hot/cold relationship.  Mainly because Jughead doesn't think that Veronica is good enough for Archie because he thinks Betty would be a better choice.  And also because Veronica thinks Jughead is stale bread in her upper crust world.

But if Jughead's feelings towards Veronica can flip flop, Hot Dog makes it clear in this tale that he is #TeamBetty, and makes his feelings known in a story that first appeared in "Archie's Pals 'n' Gals #51".           

It's a story that is called "It's Friendship", and it begins outside of the Lodge Mansion.

It's hard not to feel for Betty, who is sitting on the curb next to a giant puddle (this becomes important later in the story).  When she sees Archie literally going head over heels in love with Veronica, Betty vents to Hot Dog about how she will always be second best in Archie's eyes.  Hot Dog (who I am assuming Betty is taking care of for Jughead, as he doesn't appear in this story) listens with sympathy as Betty talks about how Veronica has Archie's heart and how she will never measure up.  You know, I feel for Betty because in the 1960s era Archie tales, Betty was always written to be the handmaid while Veronica was the queen, and I am happy that in the 1970s and 1980s, Betty developed more of a backbone and realized that she was worth more than that.  But as Betty walks home sadly, Hot Dog decides that he wants to play with Archie and Veronica, and enters Veronica's house - as Archie has left the door open.

Right off the bat, Veronica comments about Hot Dog, calling him a horrid beast and just being incredibly mean with him.  Archie - knowing Hot Dog is a good dog - tries defending Hot Dog, telling her that he's a good dog, but Veronica yells at Archie and really makes me wonder yet again what Archie sees in her.  She may look good in a miniskirt, but boy does she have a short fuse!

Veronica continues to berate and belittle Hot Dog, claiming that because Hot Dog isn't a pedigreed dog, he has no place in her house, and you have to give it to Harry Lucey - he drew Hot Dog's dejected and upset face incredibly well.  I feel terrible that Hot Dog had to go through that, and had Jughead been there, I'm sure that Princess Veronica would have been told off.  Archie tries to tell Veronica that Hot Dog is friendly which is better than being a pedigree (which, good on you Archie for saying that).  Nevertheless, Hot Dog's feelings are hurt and he understands how Betty feels as he leaves the house.

But he then notices the mud puddle on the curb outside of Veronica's house and he gets an idea.  If Veronica wants a friendly dog, he'll be the friendliest dog she has ever seen.  But before he shows his true friendliness to Veronica, he has to get ready first...

Yeah, I don't think that's going to end well. 

Sure enough, Hot Dog paws at Veronica and licks her face, completely covering her blouse and skirt with mud.  Veronica screams at Archie to get Hot Dog off of her, but Archie can only stand in horror as Hot Dog continues to jump all over Veronica.  Veronica is furious and all she sees is rage.  I almost think that Veronica would actually go after Hot Dog with a baseball bat, but thankfully that doesn't happen.

What does happen is that Veronica decides that she will chase Hot Dog outside.  Archie tries to tell her that Hot Dog was just playing and he just wanted to be her friend.  But Veronica doesn't want to be his friend and she wants Hot Dog to leave.  But Hot Dog decides that he's not finished playing, and pretends that he's a bump on a log, and wants Veronica to leap over him.  Unfortunately, Veronica's tunnel vision caused by fury causes her to not see Hot Dog, and she trips over him and falls face first into the mud puddle!

It's quite a sight to behold.  Archie crying on the sidewalk, begging Hot Dog to stop.  Hot Dog licking a screaming Veronica in the middle of a mud puddle.  And two random girls who make a joke of their own that would absolutely work as a cover gag for an Archie comic.  Of course, once Hot Dog decides that he's had enough fun, and a dirty and angry Veronica pulls herself out of the puddle, Archie is literally about to burst into tears.  He knows that Veronica is about to explode and he is trying his best to apologize to her for ruining her outfit and for Hot Dog causing this mess.  Um, wait, Archie.  VERONICA caused this herself by insulting Hot Dog in the first place.

Surprisingly, Veronica is calm and cool about this, and she asks Archie if she really thinks that she would blame him for the actions of Jughead's dog?  I should note that there is a panel in this story that looks like it was done by two different letterers, and there's a reason for that.  Initially the writer of this story didn't initially do his research and accidentally thought that Hot Dog was ARCHIE's dog, not Jughead's.  So the story had to be changed for that one panel - and it does explain why Jughead is absent in this tale.

But, it's all for show...but hey, that's how you get revenge...Hot Dog style!

"Hip Trip" - A Special "International Women's Day" Tale

Today is Friday, March 8, and all over the world, we're celebrating "International Women's Day".  As a result, I have decided that I will be featuring a story starring women and promoting female empowerment.  And when I say I'll be featuring a story, I mean the WHOLE story.  I don't usually do this, but since this story is quite good, I thought, why not?

And I can't think of a better family to spotlight than the Cooper women.  Betty and Polly Cooper, as well as a cameo appearance from Mrs. Cooper.  This is a feel good story about when Betty visits Polly in San Francisco, California, and how that visit helps make Betty feel like a stronger woman.

The original source of this story comes from "Betty's Diary #33", but has also been reprinted in several sources since.  If you have a copy of the Archie and Friends All-Stars graphic novel, The Best of Betty's Diary, this story can be found there.  It's where I got these photos from...and once again, I apologize for the quality of the images, as my scanner is still broken. 

I hope you all enjoy this story, entitled "Hip Trip".  And happy International Women's Day!

Rest in Peace, Luke Perry...

I'm sure by now that everybody has heard about the sudden passing of actor Luke Perry.

The actor was just 52 years old when he passed away on March 4, 2019 - just a few days after he was hospitalized for a massive stroke at his home.  The death of Luke Perry certainly was a shock, not just because of how young he was, but because of the massive impact that he had on pop culture.  At the time of his death, he was experiencing a rebirth of sorts, playing the role of Archie's father, Fred Andrews on the massive CW hit, "Riverdale" - which was renewed for a fourth season just a few weeks before his death.

I'll admit that before "Riverdale" first debuted in January 2017, and Luke Perry was announced as the actor that would play Archie's father, I was extremely shocked.  I mean, Luke looked NOTHING like Mr. Andrews in the comic books.  I was wondering if they were going to force him to gain a hundred pounds and shave his head bald!  But once I started watching "Riverdale", I couldn't think of another actor that could play him.  It helped, of course, that Luke Perry shared chemistry with on-screen son KJ Apa, but the way that the relationship between Fred and Archie went was like watching an actual father/son relationship unfold.  And for what it was worth, I like the way that Luke really played the role of Fred.  Essentially a good guy, but had some dark tendencies that he only used when absolutely necessary.  It kind of reminds me of the way he was in the role that made him famous.

For seven and a half out of the ten seasons that "Beverly Hills 90210" aired on FOX, Luke played the role of the mysterious and troubled teen Dylan McKay.  He was by all accounts the misunderstood rebel who somehow managed to become best friends with Brandon and Steve, and get involved in a love triangle between Kelly and Brenda.  In many ways, I suppose Luke Perry was the original Archie with Betty and Veronica fighting over him.  No wonder Fred understood Archie so much on "Riverdale"!

I think it was also on "Beverly Hills 90210" that we saw just how much of a range that Luke had as an actor.  I mean, yes, it was easy to knock the show as another teen show where the teenagers weren't actually teenagers.  After all, Perry was just shy of turning 24 when he was cast as Dylan in 1990, and the third oldest teen cast member behind Gabrielle Carteris and Ian Ziering.  But his character also went through some really intense storylines.  I mean, from right off the top of my head, he went through having to choose between Brenda and Kelly, he watched his father get blown up - only for him to come back from the dead towards the end of the series.  He developed an alcohol addiction which he fought on and off through the whole series.  He had his sister kidnapped and he had to rescue her.  He had a tumultuous relationship with his mother.  And, his wife was gunned down by her own father just hours after they tied the knot.  I mean, that was a lot for any character to have to endure, and yet something about the way that Luke Perry portrayed Dylan made you want to root for him.

Oh, and for the record, I was a Dylan/Brenda fan.  I liked Kelly, but thought she fit better with Brandon - and even so, I thought Brandon and Andrea would have made a better couple.  I know, I'm strange.

And just as he did on 90210, he made you want to root for him on "Riverdale", as he was one of the few adults on that show that didn't really partake in devious things.  He was probably the adult character that you could relate to and that you wanted to be.  It is sad to know that we won't see him ever again.

Production on the show has shut down - likely to give the cast and crew time to mourn the loss of their friend and co-worker.  It makes one wonder what will happen from here on out.  I suppose they could recast the character (like they did with Reggie between seasons one and two), but I really don't think that would be appropriate.  He was a major character, and I think the best thing they can do is write the character of Fred off, and give him the tribute that he deserves.

Much like the same tributes that Luke Perry has been getting.

"Award to the Wise" - An Archie Tale

Sometimes when it comes to school, getting awards can be a fun enhancement to any academic career.  I can't say that I won very many awards in high school (well, okay, I didn't get ANY awards), but when I was in elementary school, I did fairly well.  I even won the Grade 8 faculty award for English. 

One award that I know a lot of people received in school were those so-called citizenship awards.  Given to students who exemplified impeccable behaviour both in and out of school.  And yeah, I never got one of those.  I was more interested in the academic awards anyway.

Well, Riverdale High seemingly has its own version of a citizenship award, and that will be the source of today's story.  And we're going back over six decades for this story!

This story from 1958 was originally printed in "Archie #93".  And, for it being an Archie story, it actually features a lot of supporting characters.  Let's see, there's Moose, Reggie, Jughead, Mr. Weatherbee, Miss Grundy, Professor Flutesnoot...yeah, lots of characters. 

This story is called "Award to the Wise" - and I do apologize for the quality of these scans.  I got them from a 45-year-old digest which has much more muted colours than the average digest now.

So, just an explanation on this citizenship award, it's actually an award that is given to the student that earns the most brownie points with Riverdale High's staff.  I get the feeling that Mr. Weatherbee only launched this award to score some free child labour for the school, but the students don't seem to clue into this.  All they want is the award for bragging rights.  And it appears as though most of the boys in the junior class at Riverdale High are going for the prize.  Well, all except Jughead who has zero interest in taking part in the contest.  Remember this for later.

It looks like Archie, Reggie, and Moose will divide and conquer in their quest to win that award.  And Moose surprisingly shows a lot of logic in his plan to assist Mr. Weatherbee.  After all, Moose reasons, starting at the top is the best way to get noticed.  Again, not flawed logic by any means.  

It looks like Moose is the perfect person to help Mr. Weatherbee in the long run.  Mr. Weatherbee has a filing cabinet in his office that he would like to have moved from one side of the room to the other.  But it is too heavy for Mr. Weatherbee to move.  So, Moose attempts to help him out.  But even with Moose's help, the cabinet is still too heavy.  Mr. Weatherbee manages to prop the cabinet up on an angle and tells Moose to grab a dolly so that they can slip it underneath the cabinet.  And, well...Moose delivers. 

The problem is that instead of a metal dolly, he grabs a doll that a 7-year-old would play with.

Okay, I have a feeling that Mr. Weatherbee will probably need to go to the hospital right away...and that Moose probably won't win.  Let's go check in on how some of the others are doing.

Ah, it's Archie.  And he's helping Miss Grundy out by taking a whole stack of textbooks that were sitting on her desk and arranging them in a nearby closet.  Archie figures that he has saved her a lot of work and is proud to have helped out.  When he leaves the room, he spots Miss Grundy in the hallway and tells her to look in the closet, as he has a huge surprise waiting for her.  Curiously, Miss Grundy heads inside of her classroom and opens the closet door...

Notice how fast Archie takes off from the scene?  Yeah, I don't think he'll win either.  And I'm thinking that Miss Grundy will probably never open a closet door ever again.  But in all seriousness, what was Archie thinking stacking the books that way? 

Sigh.  Maybe Reggie's having better luck.  Let's check in with him as he butters up Professor Flutesnoot.  It turns out that Flutesnoot has some supplies that Reggie can help take downstairs, and Reggie is so eager to help that he temporarily loses his ability to notice things around him.

If Reggie had been paying attention, he would have noticed the pot of glue that he accidentally spills on Flutesnoot's chair...while he's sitting in it.  As a result, Professor Flutesnoot gets stuck to the chair, and in the process of trying to get out of the chair, he suffers a fall down a flight of stairs.  Miraculously, Professor Flutesnoot survives the fall, but he's badly injured.  This is the final straw for the faculty and they insist that Mr. Weatherbee cancel the contest before any more of them get injured by good intentions.  Mr. Weatherbee can't do that though because he still has to present the award.  But who will inevitably get it?

Why, the person who helped out the faculty the most.

Now I know why this story is called "Award to the Wise".  Jughead probably knew that the boys would try too hard to please the faculty and that their good intentions would end up costing them a lot - Jughead knew that by not doing anything to help, he was actually being the most helpful.

Pretty shrewd, if I have to say so myself.